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A surprise party? Mr. Worf, I hate surprise parties. I would never do that to you. I’d like to think that I haven’t changed those things, sir.

Fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise. I recommend you don’t fire until you’re within 40,000 kilometers. Travel time to the nearest starbase? Commander William Riker of the Starship Enterprise. You bet I’m agitated! I may be surrounded by insanity, but I am not insane. When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book? What’s a knock-out like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?

I am your worst nightmare! The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with a redundant melacortz ramistat, fourteen kiloquad interface modules. I’ve had twelve years to think about it. And if I had it to do over again, I would have grabbed the phaser and pointed it at you instead of them. Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody. Then maybe you should consider this: if anything happens to them, Starfleet is going to want a full investigation. Earl Grey tea, watercress sandwiches… and Bularian canapés? Are you up for promotion? When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book?

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